My bloods the day before came back the same, but Oncology emailed me that morning and said chemo was on and I would stay on the 75% concentration. My parents came up this week, irrespective of the outcome of the chemo appointment because of my meltdown. I could see that my Mum really just wanted to hug me and wrap me in cotton wool – I feel like such an a-hole, the worry I am putting her under.
I was told that the Cheltenham Hospital were now taking patients from Gloucester that were non-Covid. That meant that the ward I usually have chemo in was being used for in-patients and the chemo units had been set up in the hallways and reception waiting areas.
On one hand, I had to appreciate the mammoth task/ flexibility and speed of how the NHS staff are reacting to the ever-changing environment that Covid presents. On the other hand, we had four chairs in a reception hallway and some screens, which felt a bit less than ideal. However, all the patients were within a few metres and it felt cosy and for once, all of us chemo patients were able to chat together – I had a bespoke team of nurses and had a cup of tea. This sounds like a stupidly selfish thing to say, but it was a much nicer session, being able to share our experiences, even though once again it took three times to cannulise me.
It was nice to speak to people, the knowing eyes that chemo sucks, the knowing eyes of sympathy when veins are missed during cannulisation, the satisfaction that when the button is pressed to start the treatment a new round of chemo commences. There is real comradeship with chemo and I wish Covid hadn’t taken that away from me, as it had been so isolating previously.
I needed some good news, so I sent a text to the dog breeder that morning to ascertain if puppies were coming. The response came during chemo, and once again I cried happy tears, pups due mid-Feb, the dream – BERTIE!!!!!!!!!!
I came home from chemo and I was wiped out – literally for five days I had nothing to give, I could shower, I could eat, but I could barely function. I was pissed off as my hands went again, the freezing cold winter temperature made everything more difficult and although I had the gloves and thimbles, I was just sick of it all.
I decided to try and be more proactive with cooking and went on Mindful Chef, not the frozen meals but recipes I can cook myself that are pre-measured and healthy – I thought after my issue with the pizza, I should try another strategy. So far so good, although I just don’t trust my sense of taste.